Trials Of The Taboo
by Hotaru-IsWatchingU
Summary: Uzumaki Kyomi Deals with trials of the Taboo of her unrequited love. Kakashi/OC. 11 year age gap! Rated T For Violence and emotional/physical torture.
1. Chapter 1: Enter Uzumaki Hotaru!

**Hello my lovely readers!**

 **I'm Baaaaack~**

 **I've been Planning and Thinking about were I want this story to go and so there are quite a few changes.**

 **When I first wrote this I was about 16-17 and at the time the time. After the age of 15**

 **I didn't see anything really wrong with minor's dating People much older than them.**

 **now that I'm 19 (still young~) I've gained a new awareness of age gaps and differences.**

 **My parents are 15 years apart so its not the age gap that bothers me but the fact that my character was made so young.**

 **I didn't have any intention of having romance until My OC was 16 but even then it just**

 **doesn't sit right with me.** **I've come to realised that in her situation that waiting until she's 18 is the way I would tackle this issue.**

 **But I don't want to wait an Age for her to be 18 so I've upped her age to 16.**

 **Since the theme of this story is her battling with the feelings of liking some one that she cant be with**

 **(At lest at this time, not that she know that!). The Pain of Learning not to depend on**

 **relationships and people but on the Truth's of yourself.**

 **not to mention my opinion on how to approach it has changed.**

 **I've decided to up her age and also expand more on**

 **the self control and growth she will go through during the two year waiting period.**

 **Basically I'm changing the focus of the story from the development of a relationship, to a story of Personal growth**

 **and understanding one's self before perusing a relationship.**

 **Don't worry ill also expand on Kakashi's feeling which he wont have for quite awhile!**

 **And their will be plenty of cute couple moments between them in later chapters!**

 **Another thing I've changed is my OC's Name.**

 **Hotaru is MY Japanese name, It's the name I chose when I was younger to go by if I ever whent to Japan. (such Otaku)**

 **And so I change her name to Kyomi.**

 **I basically feel uncomfortable sharing a name with her because I don't see us being alike. When I first wrote**

 **this story I thought of Kyomi as a part of me. But upon reflection I've change a lot from**

 **Who she is, but I Love her personality and character! So I want to remove that connection as me!**

 **I use to really wish to be the characters I wrote about, but know I'm extremely satisfied in my life**

 **and I honestly don't want to be anyone else, and so my OC are now more like my kiddie's**

 **than me! (they are just so cute!)**

 **Basically don't expect any characters named Isabella, Boram or Hotaru.**

 **My English, Korean and Japanese name's are mine! .**

 **Any way! I just wanted to let you amazing peep's know my rezoning behind my changes because you have all been so awesome**

 **and I think you all deserve explanations for things and stuff ^_^**

 **So without farther adue!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

Have you ever been told that your love is wrong?

Well let me explain, it's like someone has reached in and ripped out your heart before they shove it down your thought.

I didn't want to feel this way about him. I knew it was wrong from the beginning.

It's started off as a harmless idolism. I worshiped the ground he walked on.

Everyone assumed I just aspired to be him and I suppose I truly did in a way.

But that idolism became an obsession before an undying desire rose and swallowed me into the dark flames sending my body on fire.

At first I didn't really believe it myself, I assumed that every girl my age was like this about a teacher… I assumed that I just admired him more than I did previously.

But as you grow you can't keep ignoring your feelings, they do eventually catch up to you. Only, when you have denied them as long as I have they hit you… hard.

That leads to my previous predicament.

I'm currently sitting in a tree spying as he watches his student's train.

What I wouldn't give to be a part of his team.

Man I need to get a life.

Although I was devastated when I leant that he was not to be my sensei , I suppose it is for the best.

I was so mesmerised by the soft bounce of his silver locks, the subtle way his eye's glance up from his book to test their process. seemingly not paying attention. Yet Fully aware of what was happening. Its funny. When I think about it. I was so mesmerised by the Man of my obsessions so mesmerised in fact that I became unaware of the Crow that landed next to my hand. Soon Said crow proceeded to peck my hand. Very Hard mind you causing me squeal as I fell from the tree.

A true Ninja I am. Someone of above average infiltration skills and the ability to lower my chakra to such a level that I became undetectable except to one of amazing sensing skills or a keen nose.

And yet in this moment, my spying in ruined by a mere bird. A crow.

Oh the Irony.

As I fell from the safety of the tree the wind rushed past fiery red hair in every directions blinding me from my oncoming doom.

 _Shoot_

That was the first thought to come to my mine.

The second was that they were not going to be able to NOT see me I was that distinctive.

Thirdly was and I call my self a ninja.

Calming my thoughts I concentrated on my breathing as I gathered chakra in my feet using it to connect to the next branch I past.

With skill only obtained from years of practice I swung back up using the momentum to send myself into a forward flip, pushing from the branch and landing on the grass of the training ground

A relieved chuckle left my lips as I stood strait having executed the last minute move in surprising ease.

'Man I didn't think I would get it this time' I laughed to my self rubbing the back of my head sheepishly.

It was at this moment in my distraction that a blond and orange monstrosity of a fashion disaster running up to me in an exiting rush.

'Kyomi-chan! What are you doing here shouldn't you be training!' Said Fashion Monstrosity, one named Uzumaki Naruto yelled in his rush.

I could not help the pesky blush that flooded my pale features. with my Red hair and red eyes I looked like a Tomato.

You could say this wasn't my brightest moment.

Soon my eyes glanced up to see Sensei casually making his way towards us,

A pink haired shock inducing girl and a brooding raven boy following behind.

* * *

Hurano Sakura. Age 13. Rank Genin. Shows proficiency in chakra control, Genjutsu and Intellect. Weakness, Taijutsu and Ninjutsu. Threat level D-.

Uchiha Sasuke. Age 13. Rank Genin. Last of the Uchiha clan. Has potential for Sharingan. Also shows proficiency in Ninjutsu and Taijutsu. Weakness, Arrogance, Lack of emotional attachment. Threat Level D+.

* * *

Satisfied with my Assessment my Scarlet eyes turned to Sensei. I watched as hid dark eye glanced from Naruto to me, The attention only causing my blush to darken.

' Ha ha N-Naruto f-f-fancy meeting you h-here.' My voice wavered as I stuttered over words only increasing my embarrassment and contributing more to my inner conflict.

 _Kuso! what Kind of Ninja are you! Elite ninja of Konoha my but! I should tell the Hokage I'm incapable of being a Ninja and retire to the country side of Hi no Kuni._

'Kyomi-chan you weren't spying on our training were you Dattebayo~?' The blond boy grinned it was almost sinister. Of course my embarrassment only increased from here. I could deal with Genin, but...

 _~Sensei~_

 _Could this day get any worse?!_

'Eh?! N-no!'

And that Lady's and Gentleman is the amazing deceptive skills of Uzumaki Kyomi. A master Kunoichi of manipulation.

 _Ibiki-shishou is so not going to be impressed if he finds out._

'Naruto why don't you introduce us to your friend?' The Silver haired Jounin. Who at this stage had been happy just observing, finally decided to place he's to cents.

 _Ok it just got worse. Bloody Hell Kyomi. Your really Selling it today._

'eh? Kakashi-sensei this is Kyomi-chan! She was in my class at the academy!' he grinned as he scratched his head sheepishly. I could almost see the sunshine shooting out in the background.

Or maybe I did?

'Kyomi-chan this is-'

'Hakate Kakashi-sensei.' The words left my mouth before I could blink. A formal bow, Being the position I found myself in.

 _I see Kaa-chan's Lessons are still ingrained into my very existence._

'Eh how do you know Kakashi-sensei?' The Pink Mo-Sakura, D-, asked in curiosity.

Do the Genin of Konoha just not pay attention to hero's anymore?

'Hakate-Sensei is a very famous ninja of Konoha. He's in none for his many skills in battle as well as he's many victories. He officially has a no death rate for comrades on a mission's. Well except for...Gomennasai!...The point is I'm a very big fan.' My words were spoken factually, simply a statement of truth.

Dark eyes sparked for a moment, before turning to there usual carefree look.

'Ma Ma, Uzumaki-san. You wouldn't happen to be apart if T&I?' the Hakate asked, his voice not giving away his suspicions.

Like a Switch my shy smile dropped and my face became blank. Void of emotions as protocols took over.

'Rank clearance.' the words where cold, lifeless has I stared into his dark eyes.

'S-Rank. Information obtain, Hakate Kakashi.'

There was a breath. Silence settle for only a moment before my breath broke it again. The attention of Team 7 settled on me. My response was automatic. Years of training and memorising protocols had warped my brain into a living computer. A tool of information. The order was issued. My response was direct.

* * *

'Hakate Kakashi. Age 26. Rank Jounin. Registration number 009720. Date of birth September 15. Height 181 cm. Weight 67.5 kg. Blood Type 0. Favourite Foods Boiled saury with salt and miso ramen with eggplant. Dislikes Tempura and sweets. Hobby, Reading. Assignment completion 190 D-Rank, 189 C-Rank, 270 A-Rank,38 S-Rank. Stat total 33. Shows High Proficiency in Ninjutsu and Hand Seals. Also has High skills in Taijutsu, Genjutsu, Intelligence and speed. Lower levels in Stamina and Strength however are still high. Weaknesses, to not be mentioned in any setting unless password is used, by order of Hokage-Sama. To be noted, Ninken summons. Threat level S, To not be engaged under any circumstance.'

* * *

I blinked for a moment realising the words that had spilled from my mouth. blood flooded my face again, I became overwhelmed with embarrassment.

'blood...type.'

'...food?..'

'S...Rank?'

 _I think I broke Naruto and Sakura..._

'Gah! Kyomi-chan are you Kakashi-sensei stalker!'

my eye twitched. My fist clenching in my anger.

 _...Stalker...STALKER!_

'stalker...' I stared at the blonde for only a moment before my fist came crushing down on his head.'

'YOU! BAKA! IM NOT HAKATE-SENSIE'S STALKER! DAZENYO! ILL BEAT THE SENCE INTO YOU! UZUMAKI NARUTO! ***HIT*** AGE 13 ***SMACK*** REGISTRATION NUMBER 012607! ***CRACK*** BIRTHDAY OCTOBER 10 ***PUNCH*** HEIGHT 153CM WITH A WEIGHT OF 43KG! ***SLAP*** BLOOD TYPE B! WICH STANDS FOR BAKA! ***POW*** I WORK IN INTELLEGENCE YOU ASS! DAZENYO!'

'Gah!...gomen! Oof!...Kyo-AAAAAK!...GAAAAAAAAK!...GOMEN! GOMEN! ITAAAAI!...GOMENASAI! GAAAAH!...'

satisfied with the bruised and beaten blond left on the floor I huffed. My hands resting on my hips as I flipped my ponytail back over my shoulder.

'Ah. I thought that fiery hair was familiar. Kyomi-chan.' Hakate-sensei said absentmindedly.

My heart stopped at his words as my hands grabbed the ends of my hair. Cheeks flushed red, my hands tugged on the ends of my hair in a nervous habit. officially distracted by the Jounin Sensei I left Naruto to lick his wounds.

'I-I try not to be so a-angry...I guess...sometimes the U-Uzuma-maki in me just c-cant handle I-it, dazenyo...' I blush self consciously pulling at my bright red strands.

'Mah Mah. You make a lot of the Jounin and Chuunin scared. I think I remember you beating up Asume-san for something or rather...' His fingers rubbed his chin in thought.

 _...oh yeah...note to self maybe lets not attack the Hokage's son again..._

'ha ha...Gomennasai...' my words came out mumbled in my embarrassment, as I averted my eyes to stare at my shoes. Such nice shoes.

'I also recall a mission from one of the outer villages of Hi no Kuni. Mah you would have been 6-7 neh?'

My eyes snapped up at his words. Wide eyed and red as a tomato I stared at him in shock.

 _he remembers?_

'Yes... I was 7. Arigotou gozaimas. You saved my life Hakate-Sensei.' A gentle smile I could not control softened my features as I looked to his dark eyes. Eyes filled with a kindness so often hidden.

 _ **Ba-dump.**_

'Mah Mah no worries.' Kakashi waved me off in a casual fashion forcing a giggle from my mouth.

'Ano...Kyomi-san... how old are you?' Sukura's words broke my attention. Looking at the small girl I realised that, the Two Genin with S for a name hade been ignored.

 _oops_

'Yoi Yoi, I'm 16. I turn 17 in April.' I smiled down at the shorter girl.

'But Naruto-kun said you went to school together?' Puzzlement was spread all over her face. causing a giggle to leave my lips as I looked at the adorable you Pinkette.

'Yoi Yoi, Naruto-itoko entered the academy early at five years old. we were both placed in the same class. however I soon moved up to the graduating class at the end of the year.' I pated said boy on the head affectionately. Said boy had recovered from his beating and was now siting next to my at my feet in a relaxed style.

At my affectionate pat a giant grin appeared on his face.

'neh?! Naruto attending the academy early?!' Sakura yelled in shock. Green eyes shifting between me and Naruto.

'Hai hai.' my smile only grew bigger in pride for my Cousin.

'What was you graduating age.'

The voice shocked me as I turned to stare at the owner. Uchiha Sasuke. Man he was quite.

 _Yoi Yoi I prefer quite people._

'Ano. I graduated at 8.' My lips turned up into a cheerful smile.

However what this early graduation caused me was not cheerful in the least.

'8! Nani!' Sakura yelled in shock. Her eyes started at me blinking in shock.

'Believe it! Kyomi-chan is the strongest ninja ever! We Uzumaki are destined for greatness! Dattebayo!'

 _Oh you have absolutely no Idea Naruto._

I laughed joyfully at the funny display between teammates, an unfamiliar care free feeling swelling in my gut.

It was at this point that my dreams were crushed.

 _*ping*_

 _oh shoot ank-_

'Kyomi! YOU'RE SUPOSE TO BE TRAINING NOT FRATANISING WITH ANOTHER TEAM!'

I jumped as the familiar form of one Mitarashi Anko. Age 24. Rank. **STOP.**

Anko came running across the training ground causing me to cringe. Great if she's hear that means...Ibiki-shihou

A fist came down, Aiming from my head whch I quickly dodged.

'Ano...Anko-sempai I-I was m-most defiantly training…' I gulped as the Woman who was smirking evilly at me.

'Ibiki-san said that if I caught you slacking again that I was able to beat you up!' She laughed sadistically causing a shiver to go sown my spine.

'Ill by you Dango for week if you let me off free.' I deadpanned in response knowing that that was my only hope.

Anko beamed at me in excitement.

'Deal!'

'I'm guessing as Anko is Senpai that means Ibiki is sensei?' Kakashi-sensei spoke up, my attention snapped at his words. like a dog called to its owner.

 _seriously need to get a life._

'geh. Hakate you should no not to be snooping into T&I's business~' My purple haired Senpai grinned as she fingered a kunai in her hand, twisting it around lazy digits.

'Mah Mah I'm just curious Anko-san' In his true laid back style Hakate-Sensei waved her off, growing my admiration for him.

'Oi Uzumaki you need to stop mucking around and take your training seriously.' the Snake mistress spoke the words lazily causing my anger to grow

'HEY WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TOO?!' I shouted only to realise I wasn't the only one to do so.

'Hey brat don't get involved with things that have nothing to do with you.' Anko grinned sadistically at the Blond, this of course only caused him to get angrier.

'I'm not scared of you Hag!'

'WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!'

I chuckled realising that this was my chance to escape, and so, without a single word I Shunshin'ed out of there faster that you could believe.

Not once during the exchange did my heart stop beating a mile a minute.

Oh did I forget to tell you?

The man that I love is none other than the copycat Nin.

Kakashi of the sharingan.

Not only a Jounin teacher but a man 11 years my senior.

God help me I'm screwed.

* * *

 **So I hoped you all liked it! Feel free to let me no any grammatical or spelling mistakes.**

 **The computer I have doesn't have anything but WordPad so I cant do a proper spell check!**

 **Any way have a fantastic day! Lots of love!**

 **~Hotaru~**


	2. Chapter 2: Desire

**Thanks every on for the likes and reviews It's really nice to know that people are enjoying it!**

 **xxOchibixx:Thank you ill make sure to read and triple check my proof reading!**

 **Betterdays623: She's suppose to be your stereotypical Uzumaki. I Picture her looking a little like Kushina with red eyes and shorter. She's extremely pale as well.**

 **Thanks again! :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Desire**

 _'Two hearts fading, like a flower.  
And all this waiting, for the power.  
For some answer, to this fire.  
Sinking slowly. The water's higher.  
Desire_

 _With no secrets. No obsession._  
 _This time I'm speeding with no direction._  
 _Without a reason. What is this fire?_  
 _Burning slowly. My one and only._  
 _Desire_

 _you know me. You don't mind waiting._  
 _You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,_  
 _That you'll find me, and that you'll see me,_  
 _That you run and never tire._  
 _Desire'_

A long aching sigh left my lips as I stared at the clouds passing over my head. Currently I had taken residence on the roof of one of the buildings in Konoha. It sat across from Ichiraku's. I found it interesting to watch the amount of people that visited the joint every day.

Plus Ibiki-Sensei wouldn't come looking for me here.

 _I hate paperwork. Kami-sama I've really been losing it lately, Man just thinking about it. You did a marvelous Job, Hotaru making a fool of yourself. You're training to be a part of T &I and you can't even go 3 seconds without acting like an idiot in front of Kakashi-sensie! _

At the thought of the silver haired man that plagued my thoughts another sigh escaped my lips.

It was at this point I decided that life must hate me since it seemed the mere thought of the man constantly summoned him to my presence.

So it really shouldn't have been surprising when said man walked into the ramen joint, I gulped when a sudden rush of confidants, that could only have come from my mother, hit me causing me to slide down from the roof and walked in.

I sat down at the bar and smiled politely at the old man as he turned to look at me.

'The usual then Uzumaki-san.' He grinned at me

'Hai, Teuchi-san'

I secretly took a glance at Kakashi-sensie to see him involved in his book, before I returned back to my own.

'And what can I get you Hakate-san?' Teuchi-san asked politely, Kakashi-sensei looked to him.

 _A miso ramen with eggplant_

'A miso ramen with eggplant please."

I blushed slightly as I returned to reading my book.

'Here you are.' The man grinned as he handed us our bowls.

I placed my book onto the side before picking up my chopsticks.

'Ikudakimasu'

'Ikudakimasu'

We ate in silence though I doubt he even remembered who I was.

But you know sometimes I get it completely wrong.

'Your Naruto's friend Hotaru-chan aren't you?' Kakashi-sensie asked as he looked over at me.

I looked up and my eyes widen in shock.

 _He...remebers me._

a grin threatened to split my face in half, Turning my head to look at him, I almost died then and there.

seriously it is not OK to do that to a girl. I could have died! from a heart attack!

Because when i looked at him I saw flesh instead of cloth.

 _H-h-h-hi-i-i-s-s-s m-m-ask! I-i-it's-s-s d-d-dow-ow-ow-own-n-n_

I gulped as I nodded my head my face burning crimson to match my hair and eyes.

'You're also apart of that program that was set up for T&I correct.' He asked making, my throat was dry as I swallowed.

'I'm n-not really su-suppose t-to tell.' I stuttered out as I concentrated on my food.

 _Oh good one Hotaru the greatest hero this village has ever seen and you tell him he doesn't have clearance to know about some stupid program to condition candidates for specialized missions. Real smart, why you're at it you might as well say that you're the sage of the six paths and he has pink Hair!_

'Interesting, you must be very talented to of been picked by Hokage-sama himself.' He spoke causally as he continued to eat, He's eyes bore into mine. Calculating. Analyzing.

'w-well I a-aspire to match the s-strength of a ex-extremely talent n-nin-ninja. A le-legend actual-ly' I gulped down more ramen as Kakashi-sensie looked over at me, my hands shaking threatening to send my ramen flying.

 _Smooth. Now you sound really legitimate._

'and who is that?'

 _Oh kami-sama help me! Ok, ok, just say it act casual! Be cool!_

'y-y…..yo-yo-yo-yo….. you….' I gasped.

 _Kuso! For Kami-sama's sake! I said casual and cool!_

He's eyes widen slightly before he's eye crinkled up into his Peculiar smile.

 _I think I just died._

'Ma Ma your making me blush, if you're in need of extra training I'm sure my team wouldn't mind you tagging along.' He said before finishing the last of his meal. Casually standing while replacing his mask he pulled out some notes leaving them on the counter.

During this I sat there shocked my heart raced as I tried to control my breathing.

 _In, and out. In, and out. You are calm. You are in control._

'And instead of spying on me don't be afraid to come up to say hello. Ja ne Hotaru-chan' He's voice was soft with a hint of amusement as he walked out past the curtains.

My heart stopped as my eyes widen.

 _b-but I thought. Kuso!_

Getting up quickly I threw money on the counter before using Shunshin until i reached my apartment.

The room was dark and cold and I shivered as I slid down until I hit the ground burring my face in my hands.

I felt the room shake as something cold and wet hit my face, shocked I looked up at the ceiling In hope of finding the leak.

It took me a second before realizing that horrible sobs were wrecking my body, Tears flowing from my eyes.

'Kuso why am I crying!? Why do I feel like this!?' I screamed as my hand clutched over my heart, I smashed my fist into the wooden floor making it splinter and crack as a the wood broke under the pressure.

 _Because he's given you hope._

The thought frightened me more then anything.

Because if I became hopeful nothing good could come with it.

He's a teacher 14 years my elder, its taboo, it's disgusting it's…it's…it's…

 _Kami-sama please save me, this unrequited love is killing me!_

* * *

My next encounter with Kakashi-sensie was a few months later.

I was taking my usual stroll around the village my book in hand, when a flash of silver caught my peripheral.

My crimson eyes looked up only to widen at the beautiful yet calm eye, that dark grey that drew me into their depths and threatened to drown me.

'Ah Hotaru-chan it's good to see you again. We seem to keep meeting each other. Ma Ma you're not stalking me are you?' He smiled making me blush.

Kami-sama will it ever end!

'Hi K-Kakashi-sensei.' I nodded.

'Are you participating in the Chuunin exams this year?' he asked his eye's continued to analyze me as if trying to decode my very soul.

 _Ok that was sappy even for you._

I smiled softly.

'No Ibiki-sensei had a talk to the Hokage, they had a meeting about my team with some important lords.' I smiled my eyes finding my shoes very interesting.

'Really there discussing whether or not you should be a Chuunin then?' Kakashi asked.

I nodded stiffly, my cheeks flushed as I scratched my arm nervously.

'It was decided that my team mates were to be made Chuunin….and I was officially given the title of Tokubetsu Jounin on account of my affinity for Fuinjutsu.' I sighed in embarrassment.

I heard Kakashi chuckle as he ruffled my hair.

'You sure are catching up to me.' He smiled making my blush darken…again.

 _Yeah right stop being so nice Mr Chuunin-at-5._

'So what book are you reading?' he asked as he continued to walk now going in my direction.

I bit my lip nervously before looking both ways checking to see if there were any other occupants of the street.

 _There's Mothers Boldness coming out again._

I took the orange book out of its book sock, flashing him the cover before quickly placing it back into my ninja pack.

Kakashi-sensei's eyes widen turning my face as red as a tomato. It seemed to be becoming the permanent color of my face.

'I wouldn't think that someone your age would be reading something like that.'

Those words pierced my heart deeply.

 _My age._

'W-well sensei i-in this world a-age is not im-im-important for the m-most part I could d-die on a mission at any time th-this year. I don't…want my life to end full of regrets.' My words shook as I forced the sentences the blood continued to rush to my face.

Seriously it was getting ridiculous.

'Ne. your very smart Hotaru-chan, that's a very mature outlook to have.'

It was at this moment I thought my heart had truly stopped. A large warm hand tangled itself into my hair and disheveled my red locks sending tingles down my spine.

I looked up to see his eyes staring kindly down at me, and it was at that moment I realized I didn't care if it was wrong.

Just to be with him, even if he only saw me as a young student.

I would be happy.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed! The next chapter will be more about showing you the whole of Hotaru's character so there wont be any Kakashi! i know disappointing! ;)**

 **Have a wonderful day!**

 **~Hotaru**


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